I’ve been wanting to share a lot more personal thoughts and feelings on this blog, hoping that maybe there will be someone out there who can resinate with what I’m feeling. Just a week ago, I made a video on my YouTube channel talking about the amount of guilt I have had sitting on my shoulders due to family illness, and how I almost feel as though I shouldn’t be as happy as I am.
After a few long conversations with my Mum, I realised that as I get older I need to start focussing on myself and my well-being. I was so lucky to grow up in the environment that I did, but there were a lot of factors – completely out of anyone’s control – that forced me to act older than I was and grow up fast. Now that I’m 22, living my own life literally half a world away from he one I grew up in, I feel as though it is time to allow myself the room to enjoy life and really look after my health – both mental and physical.
One of the biggest sources of self care I am lucky enough to have twenty-four hours a day is Lewis. I constantly question how this miracle man came into my life everyday, because there are so many moments I can’t fathom how stupidly lucky I am. Since starting our relationship, Lewis has taught me how to love and be loved, trust, honesty, and infinite laughter. I have never known happiness like the one I have known at this time in my life, and that is all because of him.
As usual, my Mum is the best teacher I have ever had, and one of the lessons that I am just learning to take into my daily life is that only you can choose your happiness. Not everyday is going to be perfect, and in fact many of them will go wrong in all the places that it should go right. However, if you choose to be happy and focus on all the little blessings that do truly happen every single day, then it will seem as though there are fewer and fewer things that can really upset you. I really can’t stress this enough – a happy life is not given, it is chosen.
Lastly, be warm. Open yourself to people and experiences. Although it may feel like it, the world really isn’t trying to work against you and it does get better. Believe me, this is not an easy thing to do and I struggle to welcome people into my life to this day. Living the teenage years that I did, I developed a very thick skin and learned exactly how to keep people at an arms length away (I did this with Lewis when we started dating as well – sorry, love!). This is the lesson that you keep on learning, as it is never just finished. However, putting in effort – even just a little – as much as you can to welcome people into your own world is such a gratifying experience, and can open up so many doors to and for your future.
There are so many other smaller, more practical things to do for self-care that I would also love to spotlight – skincare, sleep, relaxation activities, passions, etc. But for now, I felt it to be much more important to speak about the lessons I’m learning from the people around me, and what it has done for me so far.